A trait passed down from my crazy inlaws to my darling husband...

Terrible gift giving.  My birthday is today and I know it sounds tacky but I give my husband a list every year.  We have been together for 10 years and before the list, it was an ugly scene.  My husband went OFF list this year...UGH, my husband got me a gift card for itunes for my birthday!  Great idea you say?!  Yes, that would b a great idea if I had an ipod!  LOL.

Whenever birthdays or holidays come around, I cringe...

From day one of Joe and I dating, I always cringed when anyone in his family's birthday came up...really only his mom's or dad's.  I think Joe had just moved back to Philly from Chiropractic school and I was at my first job after college making peanuts and his dad, who never golfed, asked for a brand new set of top of the line golf clubs (irons and woods) that retailed for over 1800 dollars!  Well 10 years later, nothing changes!

My sister in-law just wrote me:
"so .. XXX suggested that i call his parents to find out what his dad wants for his b-day. that's fine, he said they might like to hear from me. ok. good idea, keep in touch. so i called the store and got his mom.


well, she would like an amway air purifier for the house (how about stop using those mothballs? and don't keep rotten food around?) - she told me it costs $700.

then she proceeded to tell me that XXX HAS to buy it from amway, b/c other companies don't make good ones, etc etc, and when i was trying to tell her thank you for the tips, but i don't know if XXX will buy from amway b/c we know of some really good ones that we have, she went on to say she would also like the water purifier which is about $450. Ah. noted as well, thank you."
So, the funny thing is that Joe and I had lunch with the crazies last weekend and his mom offered to buy us an AMWAY Air purifier and an Amway water filter!!!!!  We declined of course, but UNBELIEVABLE!

Oh Boy...this should be a good series....

My very good friend just had a baby girl!  (not the baby pictured) Everyone is healthy and happy.  His wife's mother came in from Korea to help out for a month.  They were bringing the baby and mommy home from the hospital yesterday.  Well his mother in-law was basically yelling at him that they didn't need that thing!  You have to HOLD a baby in your arms when you drive home from the hospital!!!!!  None of that baby seat business!  I guess in Korea, they have no baby seat laws!  Oh boy....

How Tacky!

My father in-law called one of my husband's friends to recruit him for Amway!  How tacky!  I guess he ran out of church friends, dry cleaning friends, and family, now he is invading our contact lists!

Same thing...much different people

It doesn't matter if you hate sweaters, love baseball, or have some preferences in life...not when you are in the CRAZY family.  My husband Joe and his brother are very different in a lot of ways, Joe is of a bigger build and likes to eat and drink much different things than his younger brother.  Doesn't matter!  Every birthday and Christmas, "The Crazies" give the both of them the SAME exact thing.  I have been with Joe for ten years now and Andrea and my brother in-law have been together for 3 years.  Don't you know the first Christmas together 3 years ago, Andrea and I got the SAME gift!  They don't care, they just pick things up and say, make that a double order!

Are you sure? Is that Al Jones' Car???

Seriously????  I am sure this is someone's in-law, so I posted it because it made me laugh.  Really, your whole name on your license plate????

Critic or just plain rude?

My mother in-law happens to be one of the most critical and negative people in the world.  We are fortunate to live in Philadelphia, one of the biggest cities with the most diverse art collection in the country.  A few years ago we went to see Monet at the Philadelphia Art Museum.  She told us that she painted a much better picture years before from one of those paint by number kits.  She was not joking at all.

My husband has inherited some of her wonderful characteristics.  I know he gets it from her honestly, but all in the same it is still very irritating.  I work full time, I have two small kids, a house, and a dog to take care of.  I make dinner every week night for the family.  Respectful dinners, not frozen ones or instant ones, but ones that take a lot of planning and care.  9 out of 10 times he doesn't say Thank you and I will NEVER get, " wow, this is so good."  Kind of annoying to say the least.  What makes it more irritating to me is that he tells other people when we eat at their houses that he never gets to eat like this...basically demeaning me in front of our friends.

Nice Shiny new watch...must be nice

Ahhh, must be nice to not pay your bills, but to buy a new watch that costs over 300 bucks.  The Crazies stopped over the other night and I just happened to notice the new accessory on my father in-law's wrist!

10 pm...Ding Dong!

Yay!  Just what we wanted at 10 o'clock at night, a box of pygmy pears!

Just a note to all of you bloggers, etc!

I used Register.com to buy my domain name:  www.mycrazyinlaws.com and they were trying to charge me $215 to renew it for one year!  Luckily my cousin owns a company that hosts domains, etc....and I am NOW with www.chibihosting.com for $16/year!!!!!!!  So if you want to start your own blog go to :  www.chibihosting and buy your name today!

Joke of the Day

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

Speaking of Name Changes...

We ran into this guy in Mobile, Alabama who watched the movie "The Big Lebowski" with Jeff Bridges and fell in love with the main character, so he decided to change his perfectly normal name of Thomas Harris to "The Dude."  He said the judge asked him if he was sure that he really wanted to change his name to that and he said, "Absolutely!"  Well a few years later he went to change again, and Thomas said it was 10 times harder to get his name back!

Oh, Just what I wanted!!!! A bunch of moldy peaches!

Another in-law surprise stop by!  Yay!  They brought a big case box of peaches, yummy yummy.  Half of them were rotten and moldy!

Lisa? Oh no you mean Andrea!

We were waiting in line to get into a crowded Manhattan breakfast spot and were chatting about middle school.  Joe knows the band teacher at the middle school Andrea, my sister in law, went to and had asked if the guy remembered Andrea who played the flute in the first chair.  The guy didn't remember and Joe thought it was a bit strange so he asked Andrea and she said, "Oh no, he will know me by Lisa.  I changed my name in college because there were two other girls on my floor with the same name."  

We don't get it either.  Just another quirky in-law story.

Never their Fault!

So, my in-laws came over last night and said that they weren't the ones to sign me up to Amway.  They said that their sponsor did.  So....how did your sponsor know MY NAME?????  Anyway they said that because Joe and I are married, and if we travelled together, I would not be able to reap the many benefits of being an Amway member and he would.  REALLY????!  Whatever.

FRAUD!!!!!!

In the broadest sense, a fraud is an intentional deception made for personal gain or to damage another individual; the related adjective is fraudulent.

My husband, being the really really nice (too nice) person that he is decided to sign up for Amway!  To help his parents out and he could buy some discounted office supplies from them.  As we all know, for many many years now, that Amway is a pyramid scam...so the more people you sign up under you, the more credits or power you get.  Joe asked if I wanted to sign up as well, and I promptly said NO, I don't want anything to do with Amway.  He then told his father NO very firmly.

A week ago, a box comes to our house addressed to both of us from Amway.  A welcome package!  I called the customer care number and asked how my name showed up on this account.  The friendly rep said that my father in law signed me up and yes, he gets credits for one more person!  The rep also asked if I would like to put a claim in against my Father in Law....YES!  That is fraud, using my name without previous authorization to further your career in the Amway family while distancing yourself from your own family!

We started a Chauffeur Service...

My in-laws are very busy people.  They are going to MD for crabs one weekend and the next to Washington DC for the Cherry Blossoms and the seafood, well until my nephew was born that is!  All of the sudden the people that put 40,000 miles a year on a car have decided that they can't drive 2 hours from their house to see their grandchild, so my husband needs to drive them everytime they want to visit.  Luckily for all of our sakes, it isn't very often (another topic: their lack of interest in their grandkids).  We had to drive 2 cars up for my nephew's birthday party, I wasn't able to go see our brand new nephew when he was born because they had to be driven up and there wasn't enough room. 

Just heard from them though...they are going to be driving up to about 10 minutes from my brother in law's place this coming weekend, but won't be coming over because they are too busy.  Maybe if our kids were food they would be more motivated to eat them!  Funny how they conveniently can't do certain things!

The apple does not fall far from the tree...

I have this website for my ventings on my in-laws, however, I believe that my husband was raised by these crazies and unfortunately has some of their wonderful qualities...

Mother's Day is the responsibility of my husband to organize since both my kids are under the age of 3 and they can't take themselves to the store and buy something for me.  So I asked my husband on Saturday night if he had gotten me anything for Mother's Day...he said no and went on to say he didn't want to spend the extra money since i said I didn't need anything.  FINE, except later that evening he told me that he was leaving to go play poker at a friend's house.  FINE, except that in a night's poker game, he could be spending/losing an easy $100!  NOT FINE...I called him to basically yell and say how rude that was, blah blah blah.  I woke up the next morning to my mother's day cards (which my mom helped my kids fill out) and TWO SCRATCH OFF lottery tickets! 

I kid you not.  UNBELIEVABLE.  Yes, granted they were the $10 ones and yes if I won it would be a different story, hence I didn't win and I just keep scratching my head thinking if there is anything a little more thoughtful you can get at 1am at wawa.

Mother's Day vs Amway!

So, we made arrangements to go out to dinner with my mother in-law for mother's day.  Dinner, cards, present, and quality time with her family...what a nice idea.  They called us this morning to tell us that they had forgotten, but they had made plans to meet with somelady and her sister for dinner and they couldn't break the plans....ok....not happy, but ok...so later we find that it is some lady and meeting for Amway!  They decided to get involved with selling vitamins for Amway!  AKA pyramid scam....

UNBELIEVABLE!  These people have no extra money to pay their bills, yet they are buying inventory of vitamins for a pyramid scam?!  Makes no sense!

So let me get this straight....dinner with my family vs Amway scam???  These are the kind of people we are dealing with. 

I get urges to shut down this site from time to time.  A little guilt mixed with my conscience saying it just isn't right...but then they STRIKE again....

Your Baby Can Read Part II

Love it!  Love it!

About a month ago, we returned the box of DVDs and packages to my in-laws and told them that my friend in California was going to send me her un-used set, so they could return it and save their money.

My nephew's 1st birthday was this past week and the in-laws actually gave him a gift!  (rare, very rare occassion)  They reached in their trunk and took out that same mysterious brown box filled with YOUR BABY CAN READ!!!!!

The phone call

Last night at 8 pm, Joe got a call from his mother asking if he knew where his dad was.  She needed a ride home from their store which is about a 30 minute drive from our house to her house which is about a 45 minute drive from her store.  All in all it is about an hours and a half drive round trip.  His father left the store around 2 pm to go to computer class ( a whole other blog posting) and didn't call or come back to get his mother from the store.  Still nothing from him at 9 pm, so Joe got into his car and picked his mother up (who has pancreatic cancer, undergoing chemo, and looking very sick these days) because his father left her stranded for SEVEN hours and counting!  As Joe was rounding the corner to their house, his father called to say that he was just leaving their house then (10:00 pm) to pick his mother up.  Wow, pretty ridiculous.

So, what was he doing for all that time????  Computer class, which I think he has a lifetime membership for, and the instructor made a house call to help him in more computer stuff.  He had his phone on silent and didn't hear the numerous calls and DIDn't think to call his wife...I  mean it was only SEVEN hours away from her, why would you call your sick wife?  That's just silly people talk.

Ahhh...peace...

It has been THREE weeks of not seeing the i-laws and it has been oh so PEACEFUL and harmonious in my life.

Just found this site...might be helpful

http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Difficult-Mother-in-Law

Me and Mini Me

The moment my 1 year old son was born, everyone knew he was an exact clone of my husband.  It is unreal as to how much they look alike.  That is everyone thinks they look identical  EXCEPT of course, my mother in law.  She says they look the same EXCEPT Danny's eyes are sooooo small and squinty they look like MINE!  And she says it almost every single time we see her.  Kind of reminds me of when I was going on my bachelorette party and she was jealous becasue I was going on vacation and asked me if that was some sort of Jewish tradition??  She tries to say it very nicely, but you know what she really means.

My daughter's 3rd Birthday...how fast kids grow...unfortunately, in-laws don't...

My daughter's 3rd birthday was today!  YAY!  Her party was yesterday and my in-laws were unable to make it.  They called my husband earlier in the week to say they couldn't make it, so they wanted to take her out for lunch today (Sunday).  Wow, that is very nice....So we suggest the local diner (so not to bust the budget)...we meet there, my father in law describes the place as unsettling (it's a typical diner!!!!) anyway, the moment the check comes, it gets passed from the waitress to my father in law then to my mother in law and then finally ends up in my husband's hand!!!!  I guess I blame myself for actually believing that they would pay for lunch.  How silly of me!

Can you say PSYCHO??? in a funny way...

My Sister in law strikes again at how protective she can be with her 11 month old son:

Message from her this afternoon:

"oh hey last night we watched The Blind Side on tv, and there's this scene where sandra bullock takes her son the football player to his first day at college, and she hugs him goodbye

and i started crying
NOT bc the movie was sad, or it was a touching moment

i grabbed XXX's arm and i said, "(wah) I'm not ready to let our 11 month old go to college!!!!!"

if he wants to go far away, like more than 30 minutes, will you move with me so we can be closer to him?

he didnt answer me.."

"i went into XXX's room and put my hand on his head and whispered, "but you'd never want to be that far from me. i know. i love you too baby!"

Your Baby can read!

Well ours will have to wait. 

After seeing his parents last week, Joe brought home a mysterious box.  My in-laws ordered the program advertised on TV called, Your Baby Can Read.  Not to bash the program, and I am sure it works if you have time!  But I don't have time to cut my fingernails when I want to half of the time!  Full time jobs, a dog, 2 kids under the age of 3 and a house....leaves little time to watch 3 videos a day and go through flash cards 4-5 times a day with both kids!

I guess they mean well, but when I actually think about it...
The program retails for:  $200! They didn't give my kids birthday gifts!  Can't afford dinner out...and have to borrow money for their cell phone bill...make sense to buy this program so a 6 month old can read?????

Birthday Cakes...

My son is turning 1 tomorrow. So we are having a small party for just family. My in-laws offerred to get the birthday cake. I thought that was very sweet of them.

The catch is...and there always seems to be a catch...my husband has to go pick it up and pay for it. They ordered it, but don't think they will get tot he party on time, so Joe has to drive about 40 minutes out of the way to get the cake...the craziness just never ends!

They live!!!!!

For some reason when I started this website, my husband did a covert mission to my in-laws house to take pictures and these lovely things were missing!

They are BAAACCCKKKK!

30 year old Cabbage patch dolls. My husband has a brother, no sisters (not to be sexist), these dolls were never their dolls. These were my mother in-law's dolls! For the past 30 years they have travelled with her from couch to couch. Pretty freaking scary!

I didn't realize I had my number changed to 411

A couple of weeks ago my father in law called my cell phone and left a message urging me to call him immediately back, it was important. My husband came home minutes later and I told him that his father had just called and it sounded important. Joe said that he had already talked to his father and he just wanted the movie times for avatar!

That is what was so important??? YES, to them, yes.

There aren't enough moths in the world...

to even justify having that many moth balls in your house. We went to my in-laws' house on Christmas eve for dinner and present exchanges. We also didn't realize we were being subject to the strong dose of pesticides along with our Christmas dinner.

Really though? We live in the Northeast region of the country and sweaters are a big part of our attire, however in all of my 34 years of living, I have never once heard one person say, wow, my favorite sweater was eaten by MOTHS! Never!

I hate to put anyone out of business, but i think moth balls go along with pet rocks...should be discontinued...forever.

Perdue University posted this warning on moth balls after extensive laboratory studies:

Use: Avoid these products. If you do use mothballs, use them sparingly. Mothballs which contain paradichlorobenzene may be safer, if only because they do not promote hemolytic anemia.
Storage: Store away from children and pets in a well ventilated area. Mothballs, if stored indoors, should be tightly wrapped in two plastic bags.
Disposal: Mothballs should be taken to a licensed hazardous waste handler or saved for a professional household hazardous waste collection program.